Too much uncertainty affects everyone. I hear that. Especially in lockdown, everyone got a taste of being disabled. But not many actually acknowledged this. Introverts and anxious folks know what I mean. These are just part and parcel for most autistics. Obviously I cannot comment on behalf of others, but from the people I have … Continue reading My Faith Isn’t Weak
29/07/20 Yesterday I managed to flush out the stuck feelings. Even if that meant picking a hallow argument about unmet motherly needs with oldest. I still don’t feel much lighter. Maybe it’s pms, as the sister picked up on. And the snapping doesn’t help. Everything just tangled together. I am back to being unable to … Continue reading Tangled Emotions
Many people think that once the you have separated, that the abuse is over. The taste for control is so addictive that the addict will do anything to get a hit. Whether that means hurting their own children, or even blocking their own future progression. In the rage of vengeance, they are blind to the … Continue reading Holding the Strings
“When a [wo]man is denied the right to live the life [s]he believes in, [s]he has no choice but to become an outlaw.” Nelson Mandela It’s sad that I see the plight of many single mothers in this. I was called out for being an ‘outlaw’ yesterday. I woke up this morning, heavy and bruised. … Continue reading The Outlaw
My brain has been super distracted this week. I have this undercurrent storming below with a mellow sunshine glistening on the surface. I dare say it… do I miss being sad? Was I supposed to cry on Monday? 13th July marked two sad events. The day I married and the day my aunt suddenly died. … Continue reading Why Am I Not Crying?
This one isn’t about me. Today I listened to my dear friend cry, but I was smiling. I couldn’t express the full extent of my understanding of her experiences she retold over the phone: I could predict them. I was chuffed I had analysed the problem correctly and now my brain was on the search … Continue reading Another Perspective
It’s weird how throughout our life we pass many people. It’s like a bus where passengers hop on and off but some stay longer and others don’t leave. It also depends where the bus is going which determines which kind of passengers get on board. We are the driver but not always in control of … Continue reading Self Worth
Despite being in and out of counselling over the past 20 years, I don’t ever remember being asked what my core beliefs were. I find it difficult to look inward and pinpoint my feelings and causes of my thoughts and actions. Everyone bangs on about self-care, which is a foreign concept to me. At least … Continue reading Our Core Beliefs
I’m not good enough. 01\07\20 I have put this off long enough. I wanted to make videos but I can’t stand looking at my face. But I want a voice. I want to be heard… Not for sympathy. But to let that girl know she is not alone. You are out there. Feeling like you … Continue reading Beginning of My Blog
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